Dear Mama Mary -
I have a guy coming over for dinner. I want to impress him with home cooking, but you know as well as I do that my cooking skills are pretty basic. Mama Mary, what can I cook that's easy but impressive (and cheap, too)?
Love,
An Undomestic Daughter

Dear Daughter -
Try a pot roast. It's a meal so old it's retro, and a lot easier than you think.It'll take about 3 hours, but only the first and last15 minutes are actually work.
Buy a 2 lb chuck roast (that's beef, in case you were wondering, it comes from a cow's shoulder), an onion, a few stalks of celery, a couple potatoes, some carrots, a clove of garlic, and cornstarch. If you can afford it, get bay leaves from the Spicehound or Peazey's.  Cut up the veggies first: you can make them bite sized, but big chunks are just fine. Get out a Dutch oven - that's a pot, bigger than a saucepan but smaller than a stockpot, the biggest pan-with-a-lid that came with the cooking set, and heat a splash of oil in it. When the oil is hot, brown the meat on both sides on medium heat. Take it out, cook the onion for a couple of minutes, theow in the garlic next, as soon as it starts to brown, move the onion & garlic to the edges & put the roast back in. Throw the rest of the veggies in, just cover it all with water, and season. A bay leaf is good, but if you don't have one, some pepper & a little salt will suffice. Cover and simmer for 2 hours or more. You will want to open it up and look, but hold off.
To finish it up, uncover, take out the meat and the veggies and bay leaf, if you used one. This leaves the broth, which will become gravy. Taste it. It should taste like really thin beef soup. Boil this down til it's half gone. Taste it again. Boil it down some more if it needs it, or if there's not enough liquid to do that, cheat and add one-half beef bouillon cube per 2 cups of juice.
Is he there yet? Are you ready to eat? If not, cover the meat & veggies, and keep the juices warming but not boiling.
When you're ready to eat, mix one tablespoon of cornstarch with 1/4 cup of water. (The best way is to shake it together in a little jar.) Add this slowly to the simmering juices, stirring all the while, and it'll start to thicken as it starts to boil. When it's thickened, throw the meat & veggies back in to heat through, then serve with bread or biscuits to sop up the gravy.
I think this dish is why my husband wanted to marry me, so if you make this right, be forewarned.

Dear Mama Mary -
I have a problem. My roommate won't leave the living room. She sits on the couch watching Cartoon Network and eating crap that leaves crumbs all over, and the room is starting to smell like ass. I asked her to clean up after herself, and she did a little, but by the next week it was worse, because she spilled bong water on the carpet.
Mama Mary, what should I do?

Dear Daughter -
First, I have some questions for you. Do you have a lease, and if so, is she listed on it? If so, you can't just say "This isn't working out, find someplace else." You'll have to confront the problem. There's a world of difference between being a slacker in your downtime and having nothing but down time, but you can't fix other people, only the way you handle your interactions with them.
Sit her down & hammer out House Rules. Your biggest complaint seems to be the smell rather than the Cartoon Network, so maybe work out cleaning duties. If the House Rules don't get followed, enforce consequences. If you can't do this, resign yourself to living out the rest of the lease unhappily and invest in Febreeze.

Do these pants make me look fat?

Dear Mama Mary,
I'm always afraid I'll look bad in new clothes. When I go shopping, my friends all tell me I look good, but then I see pictures someone took at the party and I look terrible! And fat! How can I tell if I really look fat in those pants?
Love,
a Dieting Daughter

Dear Daughter,
Well, you could always take me along. I'll be honest.
Barring that, you hit on one of the best ways to tell - pictures. Pictures never lie, or try to spare your feelings. Take your camera, and get pics of yourself in the mirror. Ask the shop clerk to hold the outfit, and go home and look at those pictures on your computer. You'll be able to tell if the outfit flatters you, or is just not right.
Love,
Mama Mary

I want my friend back!

Dear Mama Mary,
One of my best friends is dating a real jerk. Ever since they hooked up, I don't see her anymore, and she doesn't even call. What can I do to get my friend back?
Love,
a Lonely Daughter

Dear Daughter,
Just wait. She'll break up with the jerk and be back to visiting and calling in no time. (Unless she marries the jerk, but that's another question....)
Love,
Mama Mary